Archive for Uncategorized

The Lungi Dance Review—Seriously, Whadd the F**K Is This?

inkenti logoAt the outset, let me make one thing clear: I have been eagerly waiting for Chennai Express hoping that it delivers the much needed solid-masala-box-office-success that has been eluding Shah Rukh Khan (SRK). In the absolutely busy graduate school schedule that I have, it takes a highly atrocious, moronic and ludicrous national event to make me blog about it—no, I am not talking about the bifurcation of Andhra Pradesh, but about The Lungi Dance. Here is the link:

lungi-dance-the-thalaiva-tribute-feat-honey-singh-shahrukh-khan-deepika-padukonePerformed by SRK and Deepika, featuring Yo Yo Honey Singh this song claims to be a tribute to Rajnikanth. Far from being a tribute, the song and the dance sequence comes off as mocking south’s regional cinema and makes a caricature of Rajnikanth and the hero of regional south films, in general. Surely, the north indians will have a good laugh and south indians will just not be able to relate to this nonsense. To begin with, if this is really a tribute then why isn’t SRK wearing a lungi? Dressed in a dapper suit with pink shirt, the song set looks like the promo song for when SRK hosted KBC. The choice of lyrics and the accent further perpetuates existing stereotypes about south-indian heros. My complaint is not about the accent here; it is okay to make fun if that is the intention, but it cannot look like a mockery in the name of a tribute. That is just plain being silly.  In my view, there is absolutely nothing in this song that would make a Rajni fan feel nostalgic or proud [I am guessing that is what a tribute is meant to be], instead the viewer is instantly repelled by the idea of watching Chennai Express.

As he ages and as his stardom fades, SRK is prepared to go to any desperate length to make his films earn a few more bucks.  Keep in mind, Chennai Express is co-produced by Gauri Khan-Red Chillies i.e. SRK’s home production. I trust none of you even choose to remember the embarrassing tribute SRK gave Rajnikanth by making a fake-dummy Rajni do a cameo in a really silly film called Ra.One. May I also refresh your memory that in Ra.One either SRK or Kareena is a Tamilian and Kareena actually teaches him how to wear a lungi [check out Dil dara song]. Thankfully, Rajni Sir did not save the film and neither did his fans. Here is the link for the Rajni tribute in Ra.One; those with a weak heart should avoid this as I cannot take responsibility for harming your life:

Congratulations! you survived the video if you are reading this line. Fast forward to the present and now we have Deepika play a Tamilian and again a ghastly tribute to Rajnikanth. Seriously, when is this going to stop? Don’t get me wrong: there is nothing wrong with a tribute to Rajni Sir, but my problem is with the way the song has been conceived and delivered. It could have been so much more enjoyable. From what I see on, this song looks like a stand alone item piece—meaning, a desperate attempt to earn a few more currency at the box-office.

I would be shocked out of my life if the actual song in the movie is shot differently and is well integrated into the story.  I highly recommend that SRK and Rohit Shetty watch Nithin’s Gunde Jaari Gallanthayyinde [Telugu film] where he gives a tribute to his matinee idol Pawan Kalyan’s Tholiprema [Telugu film]—now, thats what I call a tribute:

Let me add that the song by itself is quite catchy and I wish this was the item song with Priyamani albiet with different lyrics. With a couple of weeks more to go and with such an embarrassingly ghastly publicity gimmick called The Thailava Tribute, Chennai Express is all set to get derailed at the box-office. I would be happy if it is not, but the signs are ominous.  But again, we live in funny times, right? The economics of movies today ensures that even Ra.One and Jab Tak Hai Jaan are massive grossers at the box-office. And the sycophants around SRK will never even allow him to know how the movie really is. The show goes on; and now with plastic surgeries and what have you…our stars will never age! LOL!


Comments (3)

NAAYAK Movie Review and Box Office News

These days I am suffering from inertia. Unless a strong external shock shakes my system, I am not prompted to write. So I saw Naayak on the first day at Inox breaking my RTC X Roads tradition purely out of convenience. The distributor’s hapless agent was selling tickets right outside the box-office. First things first, the movie is total nonsense and is a typical VV Vinayak movie to get a severe headache. But even this did not move me to write the review—today I read on websites that Charan is “thrilled” with the response. Let’s take some time to digest all this.

First, the review of the movie. Are you bored of your  peaceful life and wish to induce some pain? If the answer is yes, then go watch any average Telugu movie.  If your answer is a resounding and thumping yes, then go watch VV Vinayak’s and Charan’s desperate attempt to strike big at the box office: Naayak. Charan is a happy go lucky software guy [though they never show him working in the office], falls in love with a local goon’s sister. When the goonda decides to teach Charan a lesson for romancing his sister, he sees Charan kill the DGP in broad daylight. It turns out that the killer is a look-alike of Charan who has a flashback in Kolkata. The family’s Kolkata fixation continues. Second half provides more violence, more goondas and more headache with a few laughs thrown here and there.

It appears that the only point of the movie is to make Charan appear like a young super-duper hero with a special concern for the society. Basically, he wants to repeat his father’s fake image. There is absolutely nothing new in this movie. The sequences between Brahmanandam, Charan and Kajal are straight from VV Vinayak-Ravi Teja’s Krishna, the double-role of hero like Vinayak-NTR Jr. Adurs etc. In fact, there are more goodas in Vinayak’s world than there are characters and sub-plots. V V Vinayak’s specializes in showing goodas and thugs in a comical way in addition to gory violence, which he surely thinks is action. If you want to torture anybody you don’t like in this world please show them these movies back-to-back: Krishna, Adurs, Badrinath, Naayak.

As for Charan, they guy has some serious identify crisis. He first needs to consider this face, body and height before scripting his own hero roles. And my sincere request is for him not to remix his father’s classic hit songs. I was never convinced of him playing Magadheera and equally not convinced of him being a mass-hero. I feel his entire jaw-line has been re-structured as it looks really fake. I fail to understand why he can’t make movies worthy of his age and physical attributes. This movie is totally over-kill for him. As far as I am considered, Racha and Naayak are flops, Orange is not really a movie and Magadheera is Rajamouli’s movie.

Now, coming to the box-office results. Even Prabhas’s horrendous movie Rebel set a Day-1 record. The strategy is simple: the distributors just buy and block the tickets on the first day ensuring full collections. But seriously, is this the kind of movie Telugu audience deserve? and have hailed this movie as a mass-entertainer—really? how Sad. So mass means goondas, violence, gory killings, senseless screenplay consisting of patch work, hero in each and every scene, no role for heroines etc. How about other movies like Rangam [just an example]: wasn’t that a mass entertainer? i.e. didn’t it entertain the audience? There is also a scene in this movie where Charan is praising the goonda that he uses his name to get respect in the society [and get tickets on the 1st day for Power Star Pawan Kalyan’s movie]—at a time when the nation is grappling with issues of hooliganism is the right message that should be sent out? are movies depicting reality or popularizing goondas and thugs?

I recently saw Midhunam. Such a beautiful movie and it had some meaning. It was so refreshing to watch a movie without Sumo’s rushing and goondas. Charan’s PR machinery may be working over-time to write that movies like Racha and Naayak are commercial hits, but the truth is even the masses feel that it is just about worth one time watch and that if Brahmanandam and Jayaprakash Nayaran was not there the movie is unbearable. I hope Charan is equally thrilled to hear this, but I trust the sycophants around hero’s like Charan will never reveal an objective view. So as long as hero’s like Charan think that numbers don’t lie…this drama will go on.

Mr. V V Vinayak should now invest this money in a fixed deposit account and enjoy the interest; his career has hit rock-bottom. Charan should seriously look out for movies that suit his age and body.

Mr. Inkenti’s Movienomics Verdict: Two thumbs down! Kindly spare yourself the headache.

Leave a Comment

Jab Tak Hai Jaan Movie Review—-What the heck did I just see?

ImageA friend of mine who saw the latest Bond film SKYFALL remarked that the Bond he grew up with is “gone”. Similarly, the SRK I grew up with is gone, but unlike my friend who liked the new Bond I dislike the new SRK-Yash Raj film I just saw. Sure, this seems to be time for super-hero’s of all kinds to reflect, resurrect, and move on. We saw this with the Dark Knight, James Bond, and now with Yash Chopra—when Katrnina Kaif is the new Chopra heroine you know Bollywood romances have entered the dark ages. Unfortunately, with due respects to Yash Chopra, he fails miserably to resurrect the musical-emotional love stories for the new era. I am a simple guy, I don’t mind characters questioning the relevance of their existence, but all I want is a movie that entertains—Jab Tak Hai Jaan fails to entertain. Period.

ImageI hereby propose two theories: first, Mr. Chopra an 80 year old man himself must have been suffering with some sort of senility and forgot many fine points. Just like his protagonist, he too seems stuck in the past—Shahrukh Khan is apparently 25 or 28, earning part-time wages, he is a waiter, but looks more like an owner of the restaurant, he simply joins the Indian Army, leaves it to go to London in less than 24 hours notice and rejoins it as though the bomb diffusing squad has been contracted out to a private firm. Thus, the film is a product of Yash Chopra’s own senility. Second, Aditya Chopra who shares the credit [and in my opinion, the shame] for story actually directed this movie [btw, it is quite common for assistant directors to handle the affairs on behalf of the director]. When Papa Chopra was shown the film, he simply couldn’t believe what he saw and you know what happened.

Ok, enough of my theorizing. Samar Anand [SRK] is a young lad doing part time wage jobs in London, falls in love with a rich girl Meera [Katrina Kaif] who is about to be engaged, she too falls in love, accident, Meera prays that if Samar lives to the see the next day then she will leave him, which he does so Samar heads back to India to join the bomb diffusing squad. Please do not ask me where he acquired the skills to diffuse bombs because what he was doing in London was selling fish, singing songs and as waiting on people. Akira [Anushka Sharma] is irritatingly energetic and falls for what she considers to be old-school love compared to her date-today and break-up tomorrow kinda love. Again, accident in London, Samar loses memory, Meera helps out, and then after 10 years of separation [and apparent celibacy] they unite. By this time, Samar has diffused 108 bombs in the Kashmir Valley and Akira has become a major documentary film maker for Discovery Channel [I expect the channel’s image to take a beating after this]. All this shown in 2 hours and 56 minutes…the editor must have worked hard to cut down 4 minutes of the movie.

All his life, Yash Chopra showed the beautiful hills of Switzerland and for his last film he decides to Imageshow the Kashmir Valley infested with bombs!—did he really think it will help Kashmir tourism? Katrina Kaif is most comfortable in London-based movies and looks hot in the dance sequences where she wears a two-piece, thats it. Anushka repeats her usual Delhi-type character. A R Rahman’s music is just fine with Jiya re Jiye being the best. Shahrukh looks like a fool faking the guitar in the song Challa. For some reason A R Rahman does not augur well for SRK films. Aditya Chopra proves once again that the affairs of Yash Raj films (YRF) are in his most incompetent hands, but miracles do happen when some bright young director dishes out something fresh for YRF.

ImageAnd now, coming to Shahrukh Khan. Since the 1990s, for romantic films he is the Batman, Superman, Bond all combined. In 2012, SRK the romantic character has run its course as he looks totally jaded [too many cigarettes, perhaps] and out of sync with his character. While Om Shanthi Om shined on the creative power of its director, SRK really needs to play roles like he did in Chak De or Swades. It is interesting to see how rudderless SRK has become at 45, while his contemporaries Aamir Khan and Salman Khan after losing out to SRK in the 90s-mid 2000s finally seem to have found their mojo! Aamir will make intelligent movies and Salman will make complete massala entertainers. What SRK needs is to first start looking fresh and healthy. Next, he needs to start thinking about what roles he will play, stories he will select because he certainly cannot be playing these idiotic roles. This film is officially the last film for SRK as a lover-boy. Every super-star goes through this phase and I hope he is lucky enough to get a director who can understand this and turn around his image. In my view, Chak De and Om Shanti Om was his previous peak.  As an aside, all of SRK’s hits include either all or a combination of the following elements: mother sentiment, a scene where he is running with long coats, and a fight sequence where he bleeds profusely from the mouth. Jab Tak Hai Jaan had none of them.

Sure, Jab Tak Hai Jaan will collect a ton of money, but that is not the point anymore. In the times we live today, even Golmaal-type movies list in the top earners! This movie is a flop and with SRK will have lost so much more charm with the masses. For those in India, watch Son of Sardar and for those in US…watch this film on Soku! For those who are Yash Chopra’s fans, revisit his classics and forget this one.

Mr. Inkenti’s Movienomics Verdict: Two Thumbs Down!

Comments (3)

HOUSEFULL Review— Nothing HOUSEFULL About It!

For any moviegoer, one of the highlights of going to a movie at a single screen is to see the HOUSE FULL board or stand on display at the gate. The meaning of the term HOUSEFULL is not only about tickets being sold out, but also about the movie’s reports being positive and total masti within the house [all this is applicable at single screens only]. So, when you have a film titled HOUSEFULL from a director who believes in mass entertainment with 6 big stars and models releasing at the onset of the summer box office season your expectations are expected to be high. As I drove into Ramakrishna Gliterrati’s parking lot in its first day, the classic HOUSEFULL stand that is almost always on display for a big film on its first day 6pm show was missing: the Rs 30 counter was still selling at 5:45pm (my father pointed out to me, clearly disappointed). Although Sajid Khan has tried his best, the film lacks the punch a HOUSEFULL show typically carries.

The film is scripted keeping Akshay Kumar’s character of Aarush at the center. Aarush and all those around him believe that he is a walking bundle of bad luck. He is called in to the casino to derail the winning streak of any lucky visitor. Aarush now believes that his luck can change if he marries his true love. He leaves for London to be with his childhood pal Bob (Ritesh Deshmukh) who is married to Hetal Patel (Lara Dutta) and both work at a casino owned by Kishore Samtani (Randhir Kapoor). Bob and Hetal arrange for Aarush’s wedding with Samtani’s daughter Devika [Jiah Khan]. Just when Aarush is celebrating his good luck in Italy where they are honeymooning he finds that Devika already had arranged to elope with her boyfriend! Upset with his luck, Aarush jumps into the sea only to be saved by Sandy [Deepika Padukone]. Sandy thinks Aarush’s wife died and so she begins to fall for him, but our hero manages to convince her and wins her heart. So next is what? Sandy has an anna (Arjun Rampal) who is heading the Indian Intelligence services and has previous boxed Aarush on his face for proposing to his other sister. Hetal has a father in Gujurat by name Batuk Patel (Boman Irani) who finally decides to break this silence and visit his daughter and son-in-law. The entire second half is about how the two couples cooperate with each other and play with lies and handle comic situations to convince their respective father and anna that their respective bridegrooms are indeed rich and wealthy when they are really not. The first half of the film is slow and the film fails my 20 minutes test [no plot or story is communicated within this time]. The second half with some hilarious sequences saves the film from drowning.

The biggest problem with the film is that there is no solid story to tell and more important there is no plot. Perhaps, Sajid Khan thinks that the story he is telling is that of an unlucky man called Aarush. First half songs are poor and second half songs are okay [papa jag jayenge and the remix]. Again, why on earth must this film be based in UK? Why are the heroines always in skimpy beach clothes showing us their bones and boobs even during normal scenes? Having said all this, there are plenty of scenes that will make you laugh: the vacuum cleaner, the sher-bazaar se sher, the monkey boxing, and plenty in the second half: the African baby, the homo scenes and others. Almost all the comic scenes can be linked to some English movie [from Mr. Bean to Night at the Museum]. The climax at the Buckingham palace with laughing gas is a total let down. However, I can’t think of a better climax for a movie that had no logical conclusion anyway given the way it began and proceeded.

An impressive star-cast is wasted, notably Akshay Kumar, Ritesh, and Boman. Ritesh as usual is good and Akshay’s role designed to be dumb giving others the upper hand, but everything is made to revolve around the hero. Arjun Rampal is cool. Deepika needs to put on some weight or she needs to put on some clothes as it is getting difficult to see all her bones. Lara Dutta is looking like aunty. Jiah Khan is smokin hot particularly in the suhag raat song, but is totally sidelined thereafter. Else, she would have overshadowed the other two ladies.

I am not sure how Sajid Khan wanted to make a masala movie without blockbuster songs, dances, villain, and some action and of course some plot. I am writing this review the next morning and I am not still not able to figure out why the film is titled HOUSEFULL. The only possible explanation is that Sajid Khan also is a hopeless romantic about movies and single screen experiences [like me] and just loves the HOUSEFULL board. If only Sajid consulted his sister while finalizing the script. We do not get directors like these today who are hell bent on making mass massala entertainers, but why can’t they do it right?

Mr. Inkenti’s Movienomics Verdict: Thumbs Down. Well, on the bright side: summer is in, holidays are back, there is nothing else at the theatres right now which can make you laugh so HOUSEFULL can definitely be your choice of film if you want good some time pass.

Comments (1)

Aishwarya Rai’s Pink Dresses—Why the Hype?!

For the past few days I’ve been  seeing photographs (all over the web) of the various dresses Aishwarya Rai is wearing at various locations for Pink Panther 2’s premier shows. Truth be told, in the black gown she was looking like a monkey. Yes, she was awful with a plastic face. Her expressions are artificial and lifeless.

Seeing all these photos I wondered how much her role is in the film and I got curious to see how the film has performed at the box-office. Guess what? Pink Panter 2 is an utter flop at the North American box office. In it’s second weekend it slipped to #8 and it’s opening was poor.

So why all this hype over her dresses for an utter flop film? In stead, can the media please focus on the little slum kids headed for the Oscars and how their life has changed (sponsored education)? instead of focussing on the silly outfits of a silly model.

Comments (2)

Will SRK’s Billu Barber be a Blockbuster Flop?

Produced by Shahrukh Khan’s home banner and featuring SRK himself, Irfan Khan starrer Billu Barber is a pre-destined Blockbuster-release. The film will be Irfan Khan’s biggest opener and his career’s biggest commercial film, but if the news I gathered is corrected the film is on it’s way to become a Blockbuster Flop.

The film is made on a modest budget of 18 crores, which means this entire cost can be recovered in the first weekend itself combining domestic and international markets (by banking on the SRK factor). However, I read that the film has been sold for an astronomical price of 50 crores to Eros International. This means that up untill the 50 crore number is touched the film is not even safe. Now, keep in mind this is Irfan Khan starrer and not an SRK starrer and the film was an utter flop in Tamil and Telugu, which featured none other than Rajnikanth himself. I’ve seen the Telugu version and looking at the trailers, the music album (SRK has 4 tracks for himself), I have a feeling the film will lose steam on it’s first Monday. This is a weekend-family film.

I am surprised that SRK, for all his claims of being a student of economics and understanding the economics of film making (he said he doesn’t charge much, but takes a share of the profit), has sold the film for such a high amount. I was hoping all along that the film will be sold for a modest amount (say 25-30 crores and the rest could have been a share of the profit). Had that been the case the film would have gathered super-hit talk within three days as it reached it’s break-even and anything more than that would have only added to the film’s stamina at the box office. Yes, SRK’s production house could have just taken a share of the profit.

Our film makers need to understand that the below-average remake material they present is not worth the astronomical prices they are sold and brought for. Anyways, lets wait and see if Billu Barber will deliver a hit hair cut at the box office. The key to success for any film, big or small, is the rate at which it is sold.

Comments (17)

Dostana (2008) Review— Just a Gay Comedy

mrinkenti3Other than the gay comedy, more of that later, the only acheivement of this film would be that it helps break a stereotypical image we’ve had all along about Karan Johar films that they are all about rona-dhona-aur-pyaar. In Dostana there is no Karan Johar signature except those that come before the film begins where he says he is missing his family and the fact that the entire film is shot in a foreign country. There is no heavy sentiment, ultra dramatic scenes etc, the film delivers most of what the trailers promise. Yes, it delivers gay comedy in huge doses and episodes of fun, but unfortunately the trio have nothing memorable to tell about their donstana.

dostana_releasedaypicKunal (Abhishek Bachchan) and Sam (John Abraham) are two cool dudes, the first a photographer and the latter a nurse. So cool that they both sleep with girls in the same house, wake up, introduce each other over juice and cereal and go by their day. All of a sudden, Sam and Kunal don’t have a house to stay and find themselves looking for the same house, which only wants two girls in the two available rooms for Neha baby (Priyanka Chopra). For a reason we never know, Sam and Kunal are so desparate for the house that they decide to lie that they are gay. And thus begins the dostana among Sam, Kunal, and Neha; Neha is hot wearing beach-like skimy outfits so obviously Sam and Kunal are drooling over her all the time. No other twists or turns come by which take the story to the next level. Abhimanyu (Bobby Deol) is the new boss for Neha and yes, he too gets attracted to her. Thus, most of the second half is all about how Sam and Kunal misguide Neha, Abhimanyu, and his son and at the end their bluff is called and pay for that act of lie wit a gay kiss in the climax!

The film has the expected gay comedy bits strewn at several places in the film. The best episode in the film is when Sam’s mother Kirron Kher comes from London to Miami when he accidentally gets the snail-mail from the US Postal Dept about her son’s gay status. Add to this, a tiny appearence of a gay Boman Irani. Rest of the film just seems to move on without much point or purpose. Of course, the production house goes all out to remind the audience that this half-baked comedy is coming from the house that brought  you Kuch Kuch Hota Hai with John enacting a SRK in the background. The problem is that the story is not anchored well in a plot. For example, why do Sam and Kunal suddenly need a house? why is Sam so desparate for the house to the extent that he pops the idea of being a gay couple? no sense at all. The story could have been built better.

The best performance in the film is by Abhishek Bachchan who really lives it up being gay. I am sure he must have watched Friends at least adostanabigposter 100 times closely watching the performance of Joey because beleive it or not he acts just like Joey. Same mannerisms, body language, and way of talking. And check out Abhishek narrating the origins of their gay love and you feel he finally got a role that fits him best! John Abraham is fine and takes his shirt more number of times than Salman would. Bobby Deol looks like a dumb zomby-like cartoon with the same expression(s) whether he is happy or sad. Priyanka Chopra is fine, same act as usual, but here she looks like a LUX-TV Ad all throughout the film. The taking of the songs are good in the first half–maa da ladla is fun to watch. Shilpa Shetty sizzles (pointing to her breats as ‘yeh jawaniyan’) though in wierd outfits in Shut Up and Bounce that rolls as the titles begin. At several place in the film you wonder why Abhishek Bachchan ever agrees to do films along with handsome hunks who are showing their bodies of steel—he made this mistake in Dhoom and now agian here. Yes, the final gay kiss between the two lead actors is shot like the highpoint of the film. Parents wanting to take their kids might want to talk about being or not being gay.

Mr. Inkenti’s Movienomics Verdict: Only One Thumb Up. Has its share of fun, but it is gay and has a pointless story.

Comments (3)

Older Posts »