It’s been a while since I was last all hyped up about a Hindi film. I didn’t know about the much hyped dhan-te-nan till about two weeks ago. Anyways, on hearing the plot, I decided to get all hyped-up about this film. Then came the glorious reviews (I should have known when Raja Sen gave a glowing review). With a popular background score, a pumped up Shahid, and a cool mass title, I really thought this one will deliver a power punch. My advice to you—do not get swayed by Bollywood’s hype machine…this film tries too hard to be a Hollywood-wannabe gangsta film and in the process forgets the basics of Bollywood entertainment.
Charlie (Shahid Kapoor) can’t pronounce ‘s’ and all words with ‘s’ begin with ‘f’ for him. He is in to horse racing and wants to earn big bucks and dreams of having his own booking agency of some sort. In this process he is shown getting in to and of trouble, knocking folks down, getting knocked down and just before the interval he discovers a guitar case in a Police van which is full of drugs worth 10 crores. However, he wants only 10 lakhs. How Dumb. Meanwhile, Guddu (the second Shahid Kapoor) stutters/stampers, is in love with Sweety (Priyanka Chopra), she gets pregnant, wants him to marry her, but is also the sister of one Mr. Bhope—a local rowdy or something like that (Amol Gupta, Taare Zameen Par‘s original director). Post interval, the police are after Guddu for Charlie and Bhope is after Charlie for Guddu. In the meantime, there is a drug warlord and a couple of gentlemen from the African continent–business associates, of course. Towards the end, the two twin brothers who hate each other suddenly start showing affections and all ends well with all the bad guys dead in a massive shoot out. Flashback? yes, there is. The twins dote on their father, a railway guard man, but one day he is accused of stealing a watch and there is need of money to save his life. By the time Charlie returns with money, father is dead and thus from that day on the two brothers never speak to each other and this makes Charlie always want money. I know, makes no sense to me.
This is the story that most critics are raving about and honoring it with lines like QT meets Guy Ritchie. There is 
absolutely no sense in the story. Just because the movie movies fast, without sense, and is taken like a Hollywood artsy gangster-drug movie the movie is honored as Bollywood’s coming of age? In my opinion, Vishal Bhardwaj has written a nonsensical story and tried really hard to make it look like a Hollywood film: dark, rainy, confusing, in whispers etc. The end result: KAMINEY fails to entertain. Ram Gopal Varma’s earlier films on the underworld were better as they were more native in their grounding. KAMINEY tries too hard to be the modern version of Satya. The next basic question to Vishal Bhardwaj: what is the reason for making the lead characters lisp and stutter? Other than hype and curiosity, it adds nothing to the story. There are times when they talk just fine and their handicaps do not seem to hinder their communication. I realize Shahid Kapoor has always tried to ape Shah Rukh Khan, but to even follow the k-k-k-k-kiran style of talking in a film for a mass following is not done. In any case, the stammering just doesn’t help. If the lisping and stuttering were removed from the film, I wonder what is there in the film to attract the audience? Next, what is the big deal about the Dhan-te-nan? agreed, the music is great, but unfortunately Dhan-Te-Nan just could not be used effectively. It comes now and then in the first half, but I don’t recall it coming much in the second half. How can it be used well when the story itself is all screwed up! Shahid Kapoor as usual delivers a sincere performance. I still do not understand why Priyanka Chopra is offered films. The songs suck and the comedy is bad. You just can’t identify with any character in the film and the world that the director wants you to enter is just idiotically unconvincing.
I saw the film at Ramakrishna Glitterati and there was so much of distracted heckling going on suggestive that the film is just not getting in to the skin of the audience. Of course, there were whistles too. Film makers should not forget that the essential purpose of commercial cinema is to entertain and for that it has to be well-grounded in nativity. Sure, the film has opened a big response because of all the hype, but this film will last only as long as the curiosity lasts. This is not Shahid’s passport to stardom and neither does it have cult written all over it. Just because a film is shot in a confusing Hollywood style does not mean the director is top-notch or the film is superb. Alas, with a really catchy background music, a determined hero, a cool massy title, a double-action hero wala plot—a golden opportunity to make a full fledged mass entertainer has been lost.
Mr. Inkenti’s Movienomics Verdict: Thumbs Down. Watch it on DVD or when it comes on cable. This is not the kind of film you would want to go with friends and family to have fun at the cinemas.
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