KAMINEY Review— Minus the Hype, This Film is an Average Kamina!

Mr.InkentiIt’s been a while since I was last all hyped up about a Hindi film. I didn’t know about the much hyped dhan-te-nan till about two weeks ago. Anyways, on hearing the plot, I decided to get all hyped-up about this film. Then came the glorious reviews (I should have known when Raja Sen gave a glowing review). With a popular background score, a pumped up Shahid, and a cool mass title, I really thought this one will deliver a power punch. My advice to you—do not get swayed by Bollywood’s hype machine…this film tries too hard to be a Hollywood-wannabe gangsta film and in the process forgets the basics of Bollywood entertainment.

KAMINEY_Poster2Charlie (Shahid Kapoor) can’t pronounce ‘s’ and all words with ‘s’ begin with ‘f’ for him. He is in to horse racing and wants to earn big bucks and dreams of having his own booking agency of some sort. In this process he is shown getting in to and of trouble, knocking folks down, getting knocked down and just before the interval he discovers a guitar case in a Police van which is full of drugs worth 10 crores. However, he wants only 10 lakhs. How Dumb. Meanwhile, Guddu (the second Shahid Kapoor) stutters/stampers, is in love with Sweety (Priyanka Chopra), she gets pregnant, wants him to marry her, but is also the sister of one Mr. Bhope—a local rowdy or something like that (Amol Gupta, Taare Zameen Par‘s original director). Post interval, the police are after Guddu for Charlie and Bhope is after Charlie for Guddu. In the meantime, there is a drug warlord and a couple of gentlemen from the African continent–business associates, of course. Towards the end, the two twin brothers who hate each other suddenly start showing affections and all ends well with all the bad guys dead in a massive shoot out. Flashback? yes, there is. The twins dote on their father, a railway guard man, but one day he is accused of stealing a watch and there is need of money to save his life. By the time Charlie returns with money, father is dead and thus from that day on the two brothers never speak to each other and this makes Charlie always want money. I know, makes no sense to me.

This is the story that most critics are raving about and honoring it with lines like QT meets Guy Ritchie. There is KAMINEY_Poster1absolutely no sense in the story. Just because the movie movies fast, without sense, and is taken like a Hollywood artsy gangster-drug movie the movie is honored as Bollywood’s coming of age? In my opinion, Vishal Bhardwaj has written a nonsensical story and tried really hard to make it look like a Hollywood film: dark, rainy, confusing, in whispers etc. The end result: KAMINEY fails to entertain. Ram Gopal Varma’s earlier films on the underworld were better as they were more native in their grounding. KAMINEY tries too hard to be the modern version of Satya. The next basic question to Vishal Bhardwaj: what is the reason for making the lead characters lisp and stutter? Other than hype and curiosity, it adds nothing to the story. There are times when they talk just fine and their handicaps do not seem to hinder their communication. I realize Shahid Kapoor has always tried to ape Shah Rukh Khan, but to even follow the k-k-k-k-kiran style of talking in a film for a mass following is not done. In any case, the stammering just doesn’t help. If the lisping and stuttering were removed from the film, I wonder what is there in the film to attract the audience? Next, what is the big deal about the Dhan-te-nan? agreed, the music is great, but unfortunately Dhan-Te-Nan just could not be used effectively. It comes now and then in the first half, but I don’t recall it coming much in the second half. How can it be used well when the story itself is all screwed up! Shahid Kapoor as usual delivers a sincere performance. I still do not understand why Priyanka Chopra is offered films. The songs suck and the comedy is bad. You just can’t identify with any character in the film and the world that the director wants you to enter is just idiotically unconvincing.

I saw the film at Ramakrishna Glitterati and there was so much of distracted heckling going on suggestive that the film is just not getting in to the skin of the audience. Of course, there were whistles too. Film makers should not forget that the essential purpose of commercial cinema is to entertain and for that it has to be well-grounded in nativity. Sure, the film has opened a big response because of all the hype, but this film will last only as long as the curiosity lasts. This is not Shahid’s passport to stardom and neither does it have cult written all over it. Just because a film is shot in a confusing Hollywood style does not mean the director is top-notch or the film is superb. Alas, with a really catchy background music, a determined hero, a cool massy title, a double-action hero wala plot—a golden opportunity to make a full fledged mass entertainer has been lost.

Mr. Inkenti’s Movienomics Verdict: Thumbs Down. Watch it on DVD or when it comes on cable. This is not the kind of film you would want to go with friends and family to have fun at the cinemas.

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18 Comments »

  1. kamina said

    I totally agree. The movie is a total waste. it is dark, rainy, and more than half the time you can’t understand what is happening.

    Total money waste. It is Omkara type (or below) so if you didn’t like Omkara-type film then this one is not for you.

  2. jyothi said

    The film lacks a solid plot. Don’t listen to raja sen and taran adarsh reviews. they are all waste.

    just go with the public opinion on Kaminey…it is a boring and waste film.

  3. wonderahul said

    Ah ! finally someone else than me think on similar lines :). I wonder whats the craze abt this movie
    http://theroadlesstraveller.wordpress.com/2009/08/14/kaminey-review/

  4. manu shah said

    there will always be people like you, theres no pleasing everyone. i am just so thankful that you are in a very small miserable minority! kaminey is kickaff!!!

  5. Rama Raju said

    What I can agree with you is: There is no big deal about Kaminey.
    The plot is not strong. To me the movie was over by Interval. The second half is just a consolidation of the issue. Movies of this type – parallel narrations, confusing audience, need a very good plot which should be held to be unfolded near the climax. Classic movies like FightClub, Memento, Presitge etc are a few examples. Vishal Bharadwaj could have used the twins to create a rat race sort of plot – once screwing up the other – audience getting confused in the meanwhile with the twists. There is nothing of this sort.

    What I cannot agree with you is: There are no entertaining elements in the movie.
    I felt the movie was good, not excellent, in few departments. Dialogues were good at some places, background too. And personally, I liked Dhan-Te-Na. In fact I never listened to it before watching the movie. Nor in Promos. I used to skip any ad of Kaminey to maintain curiosity. I liked it on screen as well. Yes, it could have been used as a background song for some plot sequences as I said earlier. But, I won’t say it wasn’t the worth of Rs 50. I would say, one can comfortably sail through the movie. But not a movie to be given some 4* or 41/2*. It’s just a mere 2/5 – 3* movie.
    But otherwise, to me any movie should be emotionally entertaining. It should either engage your brain into some thought process.

    P.S: Yeah I know, it is not big deal if I agree or not. Just wanted to put in some of my thoughts :)).

  6. kaminey rockf said

    LOL, U’r comment ” The songs suck and the comedy is bad.” has me in splits.
    U r very jokey.
    U r not SRK or the bi$@$@% KJo by any chance ??

    If u did not like Dhan te nan…….
    what about ‘Kaminey’ or ‘Pehli baar mohabaat’ , ‘Fatak’.
    ‘Kaminey’ song itself is a classic.

    Anyways….the movie is amazing. It’s much better than the crap movies that have become hit in the last few years including the maha boring ‘LOVE AAJ KAL’.

  7. HARAPRASAD said

    KAMINEY DINT MEET MY EXPECTATIONS ITS DISMAL BACKGROUND AND WEAK PLOT IS SOLELY RESPONSIBLE FOR MY OPINION ABOUT THE MOVIE.
    SHAHID AND THE REST OF HIS CO STARS INCLUDING HIS FRIEND MIKHAEL HAV REALLY ROCKD.

  8. v said

    @kaninayrockf – agreed. thif if a claffic movie! the “light” at the end of the tunnel!
    @rama raju – the background score of the movie is epic.
    @manu shah – agreed!!
    @jyothee – im pissed at you lol
    @kamina. – go to a theatre kaminay.stop buying pirated stuff.

    @the blog creater – i didnt even read ur article. just a few last lines.
    what made me reply is that people today do look at the reviews to decide whether they gonna watch this movie or not. people who actually admire a great screenplay ,a great piece of art. i dont want them to turn thr back on this movie just because of what some crackhead people say!

    kaminay is the real deal..maybe thats why shahid was just honoured with rajiv gandhi award ?? ring some bells brother?.

    and i wouldnt be surprised if this movie goes to the oscars =)
    gonna watch it again …. 9th time.:P
    peace n love

  9. darshan said

    @v
    I too didn’t this review, but I am only commenting looking at your idiotic comment

    1. for you say that Kaminey is like art it means are either worthless or workless or both.
    2. the other day I was a single screen where Kaminey was playing and I asked the theater wala why the film is not running anymore? (even below avg movies run for atleast 4 weeks here) and he said that public was abusing the film and perhaps the director himself didn’t know what the story was.
    3. there are several films which are offbeat and with a different screenplay and the public does honor them. sorry to dissapoint you but Kaminey does not have any great screenplay and neither did the public honor it.
    4. pls do not take the names of faltu and silly awards like Rajiv awards. whats next? Indira Awards?
    5. trust me, nobody will decide on movies reading reviews. only a good review for a rather obscure film will help. for highly hyped films like Kaminey public will watch the film, but once they know the public opinion (which does no come from blogs or reviews, btw) they will avoid it.

    so just shut up and don’t hype up a average hollywood wannabe film. it was stupid and for your records KAMINEY is a flop.

    you are really without work to watch this film 9th time…why don’t you apply for NREGA scheme?

    • v said

      and mr inkenti .if “darshan” iz you. then please dont continue anymore! im outta here.!
      kaminay is a flop?. ” semi – hit. CERTIFIED”. work on your facts first. you really shouldnt have came here to diss the movie if it really wasted your time!!
      LOL im so sorry . im not that broke. i could throw sum chips if your stomach hurts though?

      • raghav said

        “stomach hurts” lmao good one
        and kaminay rockff!

  10. MAHESH said

    I always felt 5 Rifles of 1970s was the worst movie I had ever seen but this movie (Kaminey) has emulated it hands down. Surely the quality of the movie has lived up to the reputation of its title. People say this is a non-linear movie so it appeals 2 only certain class of people (Cult). I had seen several non-linear movies in the past by Quentin Tarantino, Robert Rodriguez etc this movie has no similarity or trademark of any of them even by light years distance. Sadly it reflects the quality of our viewers & critics alike who create such a hype. I regret having squandered precious time (on sunday morning) & money.

    • raghav said

      “it appeals 2 only certain class of people (Cult)”
      you know this statement can get you upto 5 years of sentence?

  11. MAHESH said

    The Background score & Dhan ta naan is a copy of Pulp fiction theme.

    • Ash said

      People who didn’t understand the movie – You are used to spoon feeding and not using ur own brains. Karan Johar’s and Yash Chopra’s of the world have spoilt you. If you expect the movie to tell and show you that a tragedy in life can throw two people apart? Then u expected another dumb movie, and this was not one.

      About people (Darshan) who think that it is a flop: Check facts. It is a moderate hit. So ur prayers were not answered. Sorry, even god is not listening to ur cap

      • Ash said

        Mahesh- So what if the Background score & Dhan ta naan is a copy? Please figure the so what before just being stupid

  12. Danny said

    @ppl. who did not understand the Film (including the reviewer).
    Just because you did not understand the film does not mean that the film is crap or bad!
    The classic example I could give all you guys is ‘Pulp Fiction’. Many people did not understand what the movie was about. In effect, the movie is not about anything in specific. But still, there IS Plot.

    Ms. Jyothee (I wonder why you have two ‘e’s).. you said the film, Kaminey did not have a plot. Could you first tell us your definition of a PLOT.

    There are two types of PLOTS in movies.. 1) Archplot – where the events of the movie unfold by causality.
    2) Antiplot – where the events of the movie unfold because of coincidences, unexpected events etc. (Eg: In pulp fiction, when Travolta’s gun accidentally goes off on a guy sitting at his back, when the car hits a bump.)

    Ah, why am I all bothered to write all this..

    BOTTOMLINE: You not liking Kaminey is probably you not understanding the movie (as someone said, you are accustomed to spoon-fed movies). It is your cognitive fault of not comprehending a ‘different’ plotted Film.

    There is a lot of cinema that defies the traditional trend of “story”, “plot” & “structure”. Learn to watch a film and then write a review. (Mr. Inkenti: for a film theory student myself… I pity at your reviews).

    A literary note to the reviewer:
    I can’t help to mention this.. in your review you said..
    “You just can’t identify with any character in the film and the world that the director wants you to enter is just idiotically unconvincing.”
    Try using “I just can’t identify..” rather than using second person, “you”. Why are you preaching us. It is you who can’t seem to get things properly. Do not make the potential moviegoers get biased by using the word, “YOU”. It will make your writing more worthwhile to read.

    Cheers.

  13. bollywoodsucks said

    One thing i like about the movie is that its genre unlike most bollywood movie with the main goal of falling in love, getting married, but this movie is quite different which is very much needed for our outdated bollywood.The songs really sucks for my taste but the movie overall is good not great…

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