I Hate LUV Storys Review— I Didn’t Like This LUV Story

After watching Ravaan you are sure to say I Hate Movies, but the promos of I Hate LUV Storys (IHLS) looked promising enough to erase the memories of Bollywood’s biggest disaster film Ravaan. Youthful songs, familiar banner, youthful lead pair, and a  movie backdrop I was almost sure this film if nothing else will at least be fun to watch. The first sequence IHLS is truly funny, but then you soon realize this is just another film which displays Karan Johar’s obsession with SRK, SRK-love stories, Yash Raj etc. Indulging and soaked totally in SRK love stories, IHLS is a totally dumb movie and is meant only for the Indian American teenage market.

Jay (Imran Khan) does not believe in the concept of love [towards the end we learn that that is because his parents divorced after a love marriage] and thus hates all love stories.  Just for having his name on his resume, Jay works for Veer (Sameer Soni) who is a famous love-story film director and desists every scene Veer narrates and makes faces sitting through all the meetings at office. Simran (Sonam Kapoor) is totally in to love stories, the concept of love and magic, and is currently enjoying that magic with her childhood sweetheart Raj [didn’t we already have such a character called Mahi in Bachna Ae Haseeno?]! Simran also is in to the movie industry and gets an offern from Veer to be his art director. Jay is assigned to work under Simran. Begin a dosti, which turns in to love from Simran’s side even though she is engaged to Raj.

Apparently, Simran begins to feel that Mr. Wrong, Jay, is more fun to be around with than her Mr. Perfect, Raj. But Jay doesn’t love Simran who is now heart broken and goes back to reconciling herself to Mr. Perfect. Post-intermission we see Jay going through all the symptoms of a love struck teenager and is now determined to confess his love for Simran and acknowledge that yes, there is magic and there is love in this world.

To make a 16 reel film without any story or plot is no easy job, but director Punit Malhotra is a already a specialist in making films without a story right from film #1! The film is full of unconvincing sequences. There is no context for the characters to become who they are. Simply, we are shown to believe that Simran is an art director for movies. No solid reason is shown to justify Simran’s turn of affections towards Jay. Some bullshit Mr. Perfect and Mr. Wrong theory is created to justify it. Does Jay only desist the love stories of the 90s, which were mainly dominated by the SRK-Yash Raj-Johar trio or does not like even the classic love stories? The degree of sycophancy depicted through this film makes me wanna puke. Throughout the entire film we see and hear tunes, dialogues, references etc from SRK love stories. There is nothing new or original worth its name in IHLS. Clearly, Mr. Karan Johar is living in a world of his own. In his world, all Indians and citizens of the planet dream about and live in Karan Johwar and Yash Raj movies.

The degree of stupidity of this script is indicative that Mr. Karan Johwar things the audience are just dumb and all that they want to watch are good looking faces and sets. I sometimes wonder how rootless our movies have become. Who is making these films and for whom are we making them? IHLS from start to end seems to have been made only for the Indian American teenage market. For example, the director’s office lacks any signs of native touch. How will our masses relate to such films? How will they do business beyond the third day? Would 3 Idiots have collected 203 crores share had it been shot in London or New York?! I am sure Karan Johar would have done that. The guy has forgotten his two big hits, Kuch Kuch Hota Hai and K3G were rooted in India with a fully indian context and even till today he is surviving by invoking those tunes and scenes. Go get another life man or just quit movies.

The film opens with a scene out of DDLJ, which receives whistles and cheers from the masses at Ramakrishna 35mm. To the film’s credit there are quite of a few scenes which evoke cheers and laughter, but all of them are sitcom type scenes. Imran Khan and Sonam Kapoor give a decent performance. Imran Khan just can’t dance and struggles to find the right expression. There is no ease in this body language. He was much better in his debut film. Sonam Kapoor is so thin with all her bones sticking out that at one point she resembled a crow! Throughout the film she looked artificially good…like a model in a LUX soap ad. She looks weird at times. sometimes she looks good [her eyes are nice], but sometimes her expressions are stupid.

The biggest problem with IHLS is that it lives constantly in a world of references. A few here and there are fine, but not an entire film. In addition, there is no plot, story, or special characterizations or characters, which makes the film boring at several points. Fortunately, the film does not drag. As the guy who puts the Rs. 20/- ticket under my car’s wiper at the parking lot of Ramakrishna Gliterrati told me, IHLS is good for one watch. Mind you, it is good for one watch only if you are a Shahrukh Khan, Yash Raj, or Karan Johar fan. Even though I love SRK films, after a point the references got to my nerves. There is also a scene where a board titled DHARMA PRODUCTIONS is garlanded [second half]. Now cummon Mr. Johar, just because no one else will ever honor your banner in their movies that does not mean you garland your own banner in a movie produced by your banner!

IHLS looks great like a TV show. Time pass watch for once. Surely, it will help you erase memories of Ravaan!

Mr. Inkenti’s Movienomics Verdict: Thumbs Down.

Mrs. Inkenti’s Rating: 3/5

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