KITES Review— A Bull Shit Film

I am on leave for a couple of days and going out of station. Risking it all and not heeding my wife’s words of wisdom I insisted that we watch the paid preview of Kites the night before our departure . The result: a disgusting experience. The best part of the experience: Rs. 40 per ticket [I would have sued the Roshans had I seen this flim at a multiplex paying Rs. 150]. The truth is: there is no time on hand to write a full detailed review, but still I want to convey to the few who stumble upon this blog to avoid watching this film. Kites is one of the most useless films I have watched in recent times.

It is difficult to ascertain what exactly the story writers [Anurag Basu, Akash Khurana, Robin Bhatt] were thinking or doing while thinking about the story. Several questions and expressions come to your mind at the end: did the Roshans have too much black money and is that why they made this film [my friend  Kalyan], did they make this film for Mexicans [my father] and one very dirty look that had the power to convert me to ashes [Mrs Inkenti]

In my view, right from the word go…there was a feeling among the public that this will be a flop film. Why else would the focus only be on the hot scenes or kissing scenes [you will be disappointed if you watch this film for the scenes]. Ok, now the story: the film is set in USA, in the state of Nebraska; Las Vegas to be precise. Our heroine, Barbara Mori is an illegal immigrant from Mexico and our hero Jai [Hrthik Roshan] marries her to get a green card. Next, each is marrying into the same mutli-billionaire family [Jai is marrying the sister and Mori is marrying the brother].Their lives intersect once again, and Hrithik’s hormones start jumping. He and Mori decide it is not worth it and elope. Now, the billionaire and rowdy boyfriend of Mori is super pissed that Jai is getting all the good stuff and starts chasing them down. Eventually, all will die. And by the time the film comes to an end, you will feel like jumping off the cliff and falling in to the sea.

The foundations of the love story are missing and that is why you just can’t relate to the couple. Hrithik Roshan is a good actor no doubt, but as my father put it he has a curse, which makes him do all the wrong movies. Barbara Mori is good, but again too much of her local language gets on your nerves. Kangana–the demented looking—who played a star role in Basu’s Gangster is simply reduced to lower than a side artist. The songs are hopeless, background music is good. Hrithik and Mori hardly dance and the first dance song by Hrithik looks like a Sony Ericsson commercial.

I really wish I can write more, but I have pack my bags and leave soon. Will update this space on Tuesday. But be safe and do not watch Kites. I REPEAT: THERE ARE NO HOT SCENES!

Kites is an all-time flop, and Hrithik’s career [c/o papa Roshan] has officially come to a halt. Prince and Badmash Company look like gems compared to Kites

Mr. Inkenti’s Movienomics Verdict: TWO THUMBS DOWN!!!!!

Mrs. Inkenti’s Rating: 0.5/5

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20 Comments »

  1. maxy said

    mr.inkenti

    nice to read your review.seems u r typical dhoti chaap of india.who dont want hindi movies to grow…want to b liking govinda chap movies.hats up to u.

    well i love this film.due to high expectation some may not like it.but it is well crafted movie.superb acting by hrithik and barbara.,big convas,superb cinematography by aayan,melodious songs. what u want more from a internatinal standard movie.yes storyline is little weak but presentation is awesome.must watch

  2. maxy said

    u better pack your bag and get the hell out of this country…buchadiii k

  3. suresh said

    ya u r right maxy. this guy is out of mind or he is above 60 year of age.who dont understand love story..

  4. suresh said

    watching movie in single screen with 40 rupees. r u a riksa wala….kites ia well crafted movie.a must watch

  5. robin said

    you stole my thoughts! shit total bs movie, its like all the crap in bollywood movies put together.

  6. manu said

    all those supporting the film are really mad. the film is terrible. the public opinion is super negative. everybody are receiving sms and calls asking their friends and relatives not to watch KITES.

    as mr. inkenti predicted the movie is a flop. check out the link on indiafm.com http://www.bollywoodhungama.com/trade/top5/index.html

    the movie has also flopped at the US and UK box office.

  7. sahibkhan said

    u people plz plz plz plz dont watch this movieeeeeeeeee…………. bakwaas
    unworthy of time and money…………. biggest flop ever………………..

  8. jaga said

    i fully agree with inkenti. so sorry for rithik . he does not get inteligent directors for his movies. the makers got brains in their buttocks. alas when will intelligent dorectors make good movies. a few were there chen de swadesh even koi mil gaye but so few and far between . wake up bollywood indians deserve better.

  9. Subhasish said

    Extremely well written review. I watched this a few hours ago, must say, is one of the WORST EVER movies I have ever ever ever seen. Am so mad right now, feel like cursing the actors and actresses therein…wasting money like this.

  10. sam said

    Total FLOOP MOVIE FLOOOOOOOOOP SUPER FLOOOOOOOOOOP MOVIE DONT WATCH EVER NEVER NEVER I THINK KRITIK ENJOY KISSES IN THIS MOVIE
    BAKWAAAAAAAAS

  11. ram Adhikari said

    Hi all,
    I am also agree with your comment on this movie. When I saw this movie trailer I was thinking that it would be a good action pack love story. there is love story but not so much impressive, ok I can forgive Director for everything but one thing what he dod wrong that in whole movie Barbara morie is peaking mexican with broken english, but there is not well directed. when we meet with foreigner people who does not know english they communicate in their language but they use broken english with body language or by sign they express their self. but in this movie we have not seen this kind of thing. If you see some silent movie you can understand the story also but in this film there are dialogue but audience are not connecting film. Very bad experiment for the Both Roshan. Hritik acting is good , but the poor direction and the poor story spoiled the whole movie. I think Anurag Basu is the main victim for this movie . He spoiled the story and spoiled the whole movie. Lagta hai jab do teen writer ne kahani likhi to teeno kahani main ko gaye aur kahani ke sir aur per ka pata nahi chala aur ye hashra ho gaya movie ka. So sorry for Mr. Rakesh Roshan and for Hritik.

  12. watdafish said

    man,looks like everyone who saw this movie went into a shock or something,i went in thinking bad movie,i felt it was slow but veryyyy ok,because it was not too long,that was the only saving grace,no actually,barbara mori and the awesome dance of hrithik

  13. anupama said

    This movie is not for uneducated rickshawallah mentality people like you who have not developed the aesthetics to appreciate good cinema. I think you should stick to dada knodke and, as you said, prince and badmash company. That would appeal to your weasel sized brains.

    • deodatta said

      I think if bollywood belongs to India, and Indian public, then they should have created versions of movie in all languages, including full english, and full maxican. Atleast people should understand story. The people who calls others rikshwalas, should understand that you are also one of them when you dislike the film, I even don’t want to spent my MBs of download, to download such kind of movies. If you are truely a multiplex person, and not a rikshowwala, Just go ahead and watch a “Prince of Persia” or download it as always…Mind it !!!

  14. rakesh said

    i really dont think the movie deserves such review..it was an awesum movie..a love story told in not the typical indian way..i think the movie takes indian movies to the next level..n guys the movie is doing good outside..the foriegn critics have praised the movie,atleast the majority of them..as far as am concerend after rang de basanti this is the only movie that has left an impact on me…

  15. kk said

    first things first…las vegas is not in nebraska…its NEVADA…genius!!
    but the movie is shit to the power of 2!!

  16. B S Kumar said

    Some Indians are very easy to satisfy. The fools who just want a few good elements thrown in here and there are not real cinema lovers. For those of us who have seen a fair bit of good cinema, especially from all over the world, bakwas films, no matter how slickly shot, are still just bakwas. Why do people talk about cinematography, presentation, good this, good that, when the movie as a whole sucks? Only when all the elements hold together is it worth talking about as a good movie. If a few things are good, but the basic story doesn’t interest anybody, who cares how fast the cars go or how deep the tongue into the girl’s mouth during a kiss?

    Maxy, international “standard” movies also have a good story, a strong on screen narrative. Just focusing the camera on good shots, making it look slick, when the fundamentals are weak is like building a sand castle. Presentation of shit covered in gold does not convince anybody that it is gold, even if both may be yellow.

  17. pooja said

    kites is very well made and very well acted movie of recent time par wo anpadh logon ke liye nahin thi shayad iske liye sab ganwar log ek saath bhadak rahe hain,unko film samjhi hi nahin hogi.ha…ha…ha…..

  18. sudha said

    3rd class indians ke liye mnik,houseful ekdum barabar movie hai.they don’t deserve a passionate movie like kites .wow what a movie yaar

  19. sudha said

    i really failed to understand why kites didn’t become a smash hit though it was a very well made movie it was far better than krish or housful critics logon ki baton pe yakeen nahin karneka . un log sirf paise lekar achchha reviews dete hain.

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