It is a rare moment in cinema history when a small tiny movie just because of it’s posters attains the expectations levels and creates the buzz worthy of a blockbuster release. The movie in point is 16 days starring Charmme whose sizzling without-clothes-on-the-bed posters have created a constant buzz on the web. Everyday I have surfers searching for charmi or hot charmi pics from 16 days. Charmi is a box-office princess of her own with super hit solo off beat projects like Anukokunda Oka Roju, Mantra. The wait for 16 days was long–nearly 8 months since the first time it’s posters were released. At the end of it, the film is damp squib and whats more you feel cheated for there is nothing Charmi has to offer; acting or otherwise!
The story is totally crazy with no justification. Two dons (we’ll call them A and B here) are warring with each other (don’t ask why) and at one point B kills A’s son. By the way, these two dons are neighbors, but neither dares to step out side their houses since years for fear of assasination. Then don A swears that in the next 16 days, before the final rites for his son’s death are performed he will kill B’s son as well. B succeeds in killing all the hired experts or assasination consultants A is hiring. In a case of mistaken identity, A’s men drag along our hero Gurumurthy to pull his tooth out as they mistake him for one of their faulty debtors. Gurumurthy (Aravind), who later is reffere to as cockroach perhaps because of his appearence, over hears A’s conversation and suggest to him a plan. The plan is about using 80% mind and 20% sentiment to kill the villian and sugests that this is the reason why the West is developed because they use less sentiment. How Dumb. A is thrilled and assigns Gurumurthy do his work. So far it is ok (mind you nothing of Charmi so far), but from this point till the end the film is one big headache.
Gurumurthy is a cry baby through the film going from one camp to the other begging and pleading for his life and his graduation certificates. Then there is Charmi who works for a mineral water company putting ad tags on the door knobs of houses. She has a fetish of staying the night over at the house that is empty; she figures this out if the tag is intact. Charmi delivers what is easily one of the worst ever performance in cinema history. Totally irritating and if by chance you are having indegistion you will throw up in the theater! Each time she appears she is imitating an actor. They only person she does well and managed to get the crowd clapping is for PowerStar Pawan Kalyan. So Angel (Charmi the orphan) meets Gurumurthy and she you’re not quite sure what the point is. Sometimes she helps him by drawing Rs. 60,000 from ATMs and sometime she telling him to enjoy as he is anyway going to die after 16 days. In one such absolutely senseless episodes she gets married to him. Towards the end, Gurumurthy kills all the villians because he is pissed off with them—pissed off because they tore his graduation certificates and asked to send his wife over to them. So ends this nonsenscial drama.
The posters that tempted you to the theater does not show up in motion picture. Was it cut by the censor? I dunno. The kiss scene also is just a second and is hardly there. On it’s second day for it’s second show, the theater was not full. After seeing Charmi in this film, you will forget she was the glam doll of Mantra rocking away to that hip hop number. The film is actually based on the lead actor and he does a fine job, but the script makes his characterization irritating as it does not grow up. A majority of the film is only sadism: the goons harassing Gurumurthy and the guy crying and pleading for his certificates. The film is rubbish and will probably play in theaters for 1 + 6 = 7 days.
Mr. Inkenti’s Movienomics Verdict: Two Thumbs Way Way…Down!!! Avoid and never watch it.
Ok, ladies and gentlemen, the trilogy of The Curse of Katha Parayumbol is now officially complete with Rajnikanth in Kuselan (Tamil), Kathanayuku (Telugu) and Shah Rukh Khan in Billu (Hindi). I believe SRK was offered two choices by Priyadarshan (who a long while back vowed never to indulge in remakes) and SRK choose to take on the Curse through Red Chillies (his (wife’s) production house), but unfortunately Billu is not worth this effort as it is boring and dull.
Billu (Irfan Khan) is an honest, sincere guy who is ready to be a loser even if it means he is unable to make ends meet. He doesn’t have money for electricity bills and his kid’s school fee. ‘Modern’ Madan’s modern hair cut salon has taken over Billu’s business. Meanwhile, Sahir Khan (Shah Rukh Khan) decides to shoot a part of his inter-galactic twin brother sentiment film in a small village that happens to be where Billu is. We are then taken by surprise (read forced) to believe that Billu and Sahir where chaddi buddies and thus his wife, kids, village folk everybody wants him to introduce them to Sahir Khan. However, Billu is hesistant as he feels Sahir will not remember him and he will be ridiculed. The school’s management (who remove Billu’s kids from school) are now willing to waive their tuition and fees if Billu can get Sahir to attend their school’s function; Billu falters at this too. Eventually, Sahir Khan attends the function and in his speech to kids he begins to reminiscence about this childhood friend Billu who helped and cared for him and saw in him the actor he is today. At one point, the village folk get so frustrated with Billu that they even file a 420 case against Billu for faking to them and now everybody (including the kids who begin to disrespect their father for not getting them introduced to Sahir Khan) is repenting for misunderstanding Billu, The Great. Sahir Khan comes to their house, hugs and promises to come back to go down memory lane. By which time, you’re happy that these boring 16 reels have come to an end.
t could make me laugh. The only scene that almost died trying was the one where Mr. Choube is asked to recite a dialouge–about lost brothers, bhagwan, locket etc— in a police inspector get-up. The problem with the film is that the connection between Billu and his Star friend is not convincing and Billu’s characterization is weak. At no point does Sahir Khan think or talk about his friends and out of the blue in the climax we are told by him with tears in his eyes about Billu, The Great. Instead of revolving around the barder, the film revolves around the Star. Shar Rukh Khan is ok, nothing much going on. Irfan Khan delivers a sincere performance. Lara Dutta is unconvincing; the same model who was photographed bathing in a tub for a calender as a poor village lady? Please, make it stop. Pritam’s music saves the film. Technically, it is a well made film. Priyadarshan fails to keep his promise; he said it is not a remake of Kuselan, but it is. Looks like Priyadarshan decided not to use his brain for this film. It is the same treatment and the same narration: unconvincing. I read a couple of other reviews, which suggest that this is a kids film—utter nonsense. There is no fun here for kids, not even the shooting which seems to happen in one take! However, if you do take your kids then they might demand that a bottle of Pepsi be served with ther daily lunch!
February 6th, 2008 would have been the sadest day for Sarat Chandra had he been alive to see what is easily the worst adaption of his classic work. In fact, he would have died all over again the moment Abhay Deol came up with this concept of doing a multiplex-film and put in the Devdas framework for recognition. A few minutes before the interval, as Dev enters a shady night club/bar, we are shown a large potrait of SRK’s classic Devdas get-up at the entrace and thats when you realize what you are actually missing and what total trash the Abay Deol-Anurag Kashyap combo is showing you in the name of Devdas. Dev D is utter nonsense and total trash in the name of New and Innovative Cinema.
It is actually not the same basic storyline of the classic. Only a few names and the basic thread of Dev, Paro, a misunderstanding, separation, and eventually Dev becoming an alcoholic and waster resemble the original (the first 45 minutes to be precise). Dev and Paro are childhood friends, Dev goes to London and both are desperate for each other. So desperate that Dev asks over the phone if she “touches” herself, then asks her to send her naked photos, which she does by clicking, getting them developed at a photo studio and then to a cyber cafe to scan and send them. Characters openly use words like fuc*, sex, have you and paro done that? etc. Is is the New Cinema that critics are talking (some even raving) about? To me it is plain cheap. Upon returning, Dev is sooo desparate that he begins to make-out with another woman in the marriage party in a poultry farm. He then hears other (desparate village) guys who tell Dev about how talented Paro is on bed etc. Even Paro is equally desparate for she arranges a make-out session in the middle of the field (nopes, nothing is shown), but Dev who takes these fake stories seriously and asks Paro to ‘FO’. She does and she does it happily with marriage. Upto this point it is watchable, but the moment Chanda’s character is announced, the film does down the drain.
endlessly till you wonder how it will end. Mahie Gill as Paro gives the best performance. Kalki Koechin as Chanda is a major let down for the film; the only part she is convincing is when she gets involved in the MMS scandal in her school. Abhay Deol does not impress; he remains mum most of the time. Hindi cinema has hit rock bottom in terms of actors or heroes as today we have Farhan Akhtar and Abhay Deol type baccha home-bred guys getting lead roles. Abhay Deol, with earphones, drugs, drinks, and a craving to distruck himself over his love, is by no means a youth icon. Except when an Amir Khan or a SRK film releases the industry as a whole is going through tough and rough times in terms of content and business. For this, I would blame the multiplex culture that gives opportunities for wannabe great and full-of-themselves directors like Anurag Kashyap who can’t come up with anything original and come up with trash in the name of New Cinema. It is films like Dev D, which run for a week or two on the curiosity factor, that are responsible for the complete lack of entertainment in Hindi cinema these days. Fortunately, for Anurag Kashyap the critics have been kind and did not spit at this film like they did for NO SMOKING.
Some time in July 2007, I had my colleague, a Keralite, narrate to me the concept of the original Malayalam film Katha Parayumbol, which was being remade in to Tamil as Kuselan and dubbed in to Telugu as Kathanayakudu with Super Star Rajnikanth as the star attraction. The concept was truly unique and I hadn’t heard anything as refreshing for a long time in films: about two childhood friends and how one becomes a super star in films and the other a barber in the village.
If nothing else these days our Telugu film makers have become adept at coming up with desinger posters that speak less (or nothing) of the movie and more about the highly glowing photoshoped faces of the lead actors. Comparatively, Hindi cinema’s designer posters (the First Look) at least are indicative of what the film is about. I believe there was a time, up until recently, when a Telugu movie poster would show most of the characters and depict several scenes from the film—fights, songs,comedy, drama etc. Where are these posters now? The deal with Konchem Istam Konchem Kastam (KIKK) were just that: glowing posters, but dull film story. While watching KIKK you realize the initial designer posters are misleading as the story is completely different and the treatment disappointing.
Siddhu (Siddharth) is the ususal (noseatingly) happy go luck kinda guy we’ve been seeing in almost all his movies now, but this time around his happiness is even more special because he comes from a broken family; separated parents, not divorced. Now enter Geeta (Tamanna), the ladli of an important father who is the village-head types, who is being sent to Hyderabad to pursue higher studies as a role model for other girls in neighboring villages. She happens to stay with her uncle, Gachibowli Diwakar (the Brahmanandam), to whose house Siddhu is a regular friend and guest. Siddhu is a total flirt swinging from one girl to the other and Geeta desists this, but one nice cool line by Siddhu (about gifting the freedom of the bird and not the bird to her friend) makes Geeta start falling for him. Slowly and steadily, by the end of the first one and a half hours, we given to understand that the couple has fallen for each other, but the girl’s father rejects the proposal. The condition, however, is that Siddhu must unite his parents for his marriage with Geeta. So the next one and a half hours is about trying to patch up his parents Prakasah Raj (who is looking unhealthy and fat) and a full-fledged aunty in the form of Ramya Krishna. In this process, Geeta and Siddhu also develop certain misunderstandings and understandings. Oh yea, finally the parents patch up and so do Geeta and Siddhu.
absolutely no story, twists, or turns. How does one do that? The film is full of the usual parent-kids dialaogues that producer Dil Raju has made his debut directors do graduate studies in his Parenting Series films (Bommarillu, Parugu, etc). The usual arguments on either side weighing the pros and cons of love versus arranged marriages. Please, stop these now. The role Siddhu’s parents is weak given the fact the entire film’s final outcome revoles around them. The reason for their break up is silly and you just don’t feel for the poor chap Siddhu who is apparently torn between his parents. Ramya Krishna looks most disinterested in the film’s proceedings. I have a request for her: could you please not act in these elderly roles? let they image rest in the glamor it once did, please. Prakash Raj should not pick up any more father roles, he can be awarded an honorary doctrate for donning Father roles. Tamanna is fresh, juicy, and beautiful and has done a decent job. I hope she gets better roles with better stories. Siddharth is his usual self, but appears to be looking a little flabby and his new hair cut has a girly-touch to it. Songs in the first half are good, particularly the one which Geeta does for Siddhu’s birthday, and the background music is fine too. Brahmanandam as a Team India fan delivers his best in a author-backed character playing a guy who feels he calling the shots on the field (he was the 14th player in the Amalapuram team!).Venu Madhav, though out of context in a younger generation’s group, provides some real good comic support for Siddharth.
Delhi 6 Review— This Masakali Fails to Take Off!
February 24, 2009 at 7:26 am · Filed under movienomics ·Tagged amitabh bachchan comment on delhi 6, delhi 6 boring, delhi 6 climax, delhi 6 flop, delhi 6 kaala bander, delhi 6 monkey man, delhi 6 movie review, delhi 6 public talk, delhi 6 review, delhi 6 story, kaala bandar delhi 6, masakali, monkey man
Slowly, the monkey man episode begins to add political color bringing to the fore Hindu-Muslim tensions. In the meantime, out of no where, we are thrust upon the fact that Roshan is in love with India and Bittu and to bring upon unity among this once close knit community, Roshan dresses up as the Monkey Man and ends up getting beaten, thrashed and shot! Yes, he dies briefly and then God, Amitabh Bachchan eating jalebis decides that he got a raw deal from folks in Delhi sends him back! The film becomes ridiculous in it’s efforts to make you love the characters and the plot. When Sonam Kapoor begins to cry loudly on seeing Abhishek shot, the entire theater erupted in laughter; this is how the audience connected with this film.The film tries too hard (and is confused as how) to show the spiritual and multicultural fabric of India. Take for example, the scene where a cow is delivering and the entire city traffic there comes to standstill to witness this sacred event; good sequence, but it is spoilt with the way Roshan is made to react to this episode.
There is no story to tell. Rakeyesh Omprakash Mehra gives it the kind of treatment (minus the spookiness) we saw in M. Night Shyamalan’s later films like Village, Lady in the Water, Happening etc. all of which led to his downfall. The director takes an unexplained phenomenon (the kaala bandar episode here) and uses it to reflect upon the people around it with a message about humans and community. To this Mr. Mehra adds some lovely songs, wants us to believe there was a love story that was never there between Bittu and Roshan, and some messages about the still prevailing caste system (like Swades, the classic gem) and some India Blues (like Nagesh Kukunoor’s all-time cult classic Hyderabad Blues). The result of this cocktail: ridiculous and boring. At one point, you get tired of seeing the ram leelas and the kaala bander episodes and just wish the film either moved on or ended.
Abhishek Bachchan proves again that he is Iron Leg of Bollywood; another solo-hero project of his
flops. He just can’t deliver and it becomes even more pathetic when the script is boring. His accent is artificial and you just can’t connect with him or his character. He is better off doing films and roles like Dostana or must accompany his wife on her international tours. Sonam Kapoor tries to be overly expressive and sadly for her there is no role. Waheeda Rahman and Rishi Kapoor (who btw really needs to reduce as he is looking sick and obeese) are wasted. The best performances come from all and sundry like Pawan Malhotra and Om Puri as the two not-getting-along-well brothers, the hot ‘untouchable’ garbage cleaner (Divya Dutta) whom everybody from the little kids to the inspector are hitting on, Vijay Raaz is too good as Inspector Ranvijay, Atul Kulkarni as Gobar who always chooses two one rupee coins rather than one 10 rupee note, and the guy who sells jalebi and later shoots Abhishek dressed as the kaala bander. ARR’s music is superb, but unfortunable no song other than Masakali is played out completely; what a waste.
The other day while at a mall I was watching on NDTV, Abhishek, Sonam, and Mehra interacting with people in Chandi Chowk discussing about the film. No amount of publicity can save this really stupid and boring film (it angers me to see people using the overly zealous media (which has nothing better to do than to cover such silly disucssions) to promote a silly and senseless film). The only word I could hear coming out of Ramakrishna Glitterati after Sunday’s matinee show was (not masakali ) “bakwas”. Whats even more bakwas is Amitabh Bachchan’s comment today in the newspaper comparing Delhi 6 and Slumdog Millionaire as he continues to belittle the latter. Honestly, the old man should just relax at home now.
Mr. Inkenti’s Movienomics Verdict: Two Thumbs Down! Don’t fall for the desinger poster and stylish movie title. The film should actually have been named Kaala Bandar.
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